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I think the beauty of feeling is that you can’t force it. You can’t keep it going, or slow it down. It’s just there, and it does whatever it wants, regardless of your issues with it. Whether you want it or not, feeling will rip you around like it always does, and it’ll have its way with you. It’ll love you and cradle you and then throw you in the air, and then throw you to the ground. Feeling can be curbed, but never controlled.
I’ve noticed lately that when I’m in crowds of people, all I want to do is reach out and touch every person, I want to feel these people, feel their souls, just to get the slightest indication of who they are in their heart of hearts. All I want to do is know people, embrace them, try to understand them, love them for their downsides, and lift them up in their moments of darkness, And help them shine brightly. I wish I could know every person, every good soul, and let them feel my love before they even know my name.
I couldn’t see what your hands were doing, I imagine soft and sharp, curving clay with big bold bones and thin soft skin. Like spider legs. I couldn’t see the shapes you were making. I didn’t see your eyes sticking to the back of me like glue, every movement I made, you noted, quiet and desperate. How I wish I had known you were glued to the back of me, when all I wanted to do was turn around and watch those bold, nervous hands. Making shapes. I wish the clay you were cradling and carving washed away into nothing until nothing turned into my skin, and my skin turned into you, melting and moving to your fingertips. I wish I had been your most prized creation.
